What a day!!

I'm home, finally!!

Took Finn to school at 9, then came home and tidied up, then took off to the bank and to top up the petrol before heading off to acupuncture session #1. It went well, lots of needles, lots of Qi moving to the uterus (I hope!)

Then, home for lunch and to meet my sister, and fill her in on picking Finn up etc. So she set off to get him, and I set off for the city. Bloody carpark was full and so I had to walk 3 blocks with my still tender tummy which was a shit!

Mixed news on the embies (embryo's). Of the 11 crap eggs, only 2 survived. :( And they were not great. Excellent and goo embryos are grade 1 and 2, mine were 3 and 4 - so, average and slightly below average (4 cell and 2 cell).

I said "oh. Well can you put both back?" Dr Foster said she felt the lower would not survive freeze and thaw and so decided that yes, 2 could go in. So I saw my 2 little babies on the tv, and then they put them in, I got my progesterone and off we went.

J is a little more disappointed than I, at the prospect of if it is unsuccessful, we need to do all the drugs ad EPU again... I was just relieved its done! I went and had acupuncture #2, and now I am home and falling in a heap. I intend to forget about it, at least for the weekend and enjoy my 30th Birthday.

2 babies on board though, and I know people who conceived with a grade 4, let alone a 3, so I am happy. yay!

The point of no return

The nurse called yesterday to tell me that egg pick up is at 10:40am Monday at the RWH, and therefore, trigger was to be at 11:10pm last night. So very precise, not 11, 11:10pm. Because it takes 36 hours to ovulate, so I get there 35 and a half before and then they can catch them as they mature and ready to ovulate.

The trigger injection is bloody awful. Now, at the start of all this, they told us it was an all in one syringe which pleased us greatly, since at the IUIs it was the vials etc. But, when I collected it all on Friday, she said I have to have the vials again because I am hyper stimulated and that form is more gentle on the ovaries.

So anyway, I had to stay up late (for me, I am old remember); at mix it up. What happens is I have to snap the tops of two, small vials (about 3-4cm tall), and hope they don't shatter. Then I have to be super careful that I don't knock them over, and you'd be surprised how easily that could happen! If either happens, we're screwed, there are no spares.

So, then I attach a large thick drawing up needle to the syringe, draw up the water form one tiny vial (without unbalancing it with the thick long needle!) and then depress the water in to the vial of powdered medicine, swirl it up til it dissolves (again, careful with the tiny vial!!!) then draw it all up again, turn the needle upside down so i doesn't all escape when I take the drawing up needle off and replace it with the injecting needle (far, far smaller!)

Then tap all the air bubbles to the surface, and slowly depress the syringe til the air is out, and a drop of medicine is at the tip, then inject. It is seriously stressful and fiddly. But, I got it done. Ended up being 5 minutes late though, so will tell them that tomorrow. Better late than early.

So, there is no going back now. Tomorrow morning we'll see how many eggs we get, and then the eternally long wait til Wednesday when the Dr. calls to tell me how many fertilised with the ICSI, and how many are developing and suitable for freezing. I feel ill at the thought. I am hoping for 10 eggs tomorrow, 10 good ones. 6 is ok. Less than 6 and i will be disappointed and worried, but as long as its quality... it will be ok. I hope.

I am really pretty scared about going under anaesthetic too. Its scary. Last time I was under a similar level of anaesthesia, was for an endoscopy about 10 years ish ago and it was traumatic. Before that, some operations as a little girl (I got over the needle phobia with all this, but still a bit scared of going under). And its going to hurt. A needle through the vaginal wall to get all my eggs out. Well fark. That doesn't sound fun.

So am sore and tired, but nearly there. Now to drink 3l of water and powerade for the next week to stop OHSS and I might even be okay for my birthday on Friday!

I chose my Doctor well

I really, really, really do like my FS. She answered my email promptly as always, and said we can discuss the dose at the scan, and that she is happy to adjust it upwards. The relief is enormous! This is very, very, good news.

My period is still AWOL, no idea what is going on there. Just have to see what happens at the scan. The problem may be that if I don't get a decent period my lining may not be thin enough to start injections. Nothing I can do about it. It is really hard - and completely against my nature - to go with the flow and relax about whats going on. I am doing better at the moment, but its taking a concerted effort.

Anyway, Thursday will be telling. Nervous as hell.


Feel very stressed and tense today. Sort of feel alone too, even though I know there are people who care and will listen. I just feel weird. :(