I was reading Bec's blog as per usual, and explored some of her blog links and discovered something phenomenal.
2 things, that are sort of nearly the same thing, actually. Firstly the most amazing infertility blogroll known to man. I exaggerate only slightly. It is mammoth! The Stirrup Queen's Completely Anal List of Blogs That Proves That She Really Missed Her Calling as a Personal Organizer - is mind blowing.
Not only does it list infertility blogs, but it lists them in beautiful, orderly categories. It is a list queens paradise. And I do so love lists! You know, as much as people try and understand what you go through, the people who really get it are the other people who live it. So, for me, to find a list of secondary infertility blogs is somewhat akin to finding an oasis in a desert and taking a long drink. Just brilliant.
Part two of the discovery is the Lost and Found website. Its not so much about kittens and puppies as it is a tracking of all those blogs in one place. So you can see at a glance who has had a shitty result and click through to give some encouragement and support. Or who has had a great result and you're right there to offer congratulations. What a bloody brilliant idea. No one need ever be alone with their infertility hell again.
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Showing posts with label infertility. Show all posts
Saturday, February 16, 2008
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
When it comes to God...
... I have no clear belief system. I don;t believe in any God that is represented by any major religion. I think when you die, thats it. And yet, I have moments where I wonder. I found this on the net today, and it rang true to me. The same theory can apply to Karma as to God. The part in bold is something I have always said, and certainly it applies where our son is concerned.
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "Adopt and you'll get pregnant." Of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility?
"Couples experiencing infertility often receive well-meaning but extremely insensitive "advice." We can all list the most popular ones: "Just relax and you'll get pregnant," or "Adopt and you'll get pregnant." Of the most painful from those who think they've got the goods on God's plan, "Maybe God never meant for you to have children." The sheer audacity of making a statement like that never fails to amaze me.
"These same people would never walk up to someone seeking treatment for cancer and say, "Maybe God never meant for you to live." However, because I am infertile, I'm supposed to get on with my life. It's hard to understand that people can not see infertility for what it is, a disease for which I have to seek treatment. What if Jonas Salk had said to the parents of polio victims, "Maybe God meant for thousands of our children to be cripples, live in an iron lung or die." What if he'd never tried to find a cure? Who could think for one minute that that was God's plan?
What do I think God meant when he gave me infertility? I think he meant for my husband and me to grow closer, become stronger, love deeper. I think God meant for us to find the fortitude within ourselves to get up every time infertility knocks us down. I think God meant for our medical community to discover medicines, invent medical equipment, create procedures and protocols. I think God meant for us to find a cure for infertility.
No, God never meant for me not to have children. That's not my destiny; that's just a fork in the road I'm on. I've been placed on the road less traveled, and, like it or not, I'm a better person for it. Clearly, God meant for me to develop more compassion, deeper courage, and greater inner strength on this journey to resolution, and I haven't let Him down.
Frankly, if the truth be known, I think God has singled me out for a special treatment. I think God meant for me to build a thirst for a child so strong and so deep that when that baby is finally placed in my arms, it will be the longest, coolest, most refreshing drink I've ever known.
While I would never choose infertility, I can not deny that a fertile woman could never know the joy that awaits me. Yes, one way or another, I will have a baby of my own. And the next time someone wants to offer me unsolicited advice I'll say, "Don't tell me what God meant when He handed me infertility. I already know."
Monday, September 10, 2007
Extra info
I made the appt to see a Dr at MIVF and then realised she was not the Sunshine (closest) clinic Dr. I rang MIVF this morning though, and asked does it have to be that clinics Dr or can I see Dr Foster at her rooms but still do all my bloods and scans at sunshine?
Yes! Dr is irrelevant. Thats good because the Dr at Sunshine is only there Wed arvo and because of small mans school hours, afternoons are not suitable. So I would have had to see him elsewhere at other times anyway.
Also realised that to get to that clinic, its not TOO bad in terms of traffic because I only go as far down the Calder as Sydenham then turn off, and it doesn't get hectic really, until from and after the Sydenham on ramp (as far as I can recall anyway). And if I tried it once and found it was busy, I could always go the back way thereafter, which would be just an extra 10 mins or so. Not so bad after all...
I emailed Ballarat IVF today also, and asked if IVF is required, how do the payment options all work, and I am going to call MIVF accounts later and ask the same. Am hoping one or both, allow you to pay just the gap fee upfront, and bill medicare directly for their share. This would mean the difference between needing to find $3000 (which we can currently do by mid November); and $5000 which would not be possible til Jan/Feb next year.
We will try something before the years end (from Nov) - whether that is IVF or IUI is yet to be seen. Because we already have a child, our safety net for medicare is far lower, at $520 of which we already have $120 toward, and given I am still to see a GP for referrals and have these 2 specialist appointments, we are obviously going to be close to it anyway, so might as well start now. Oh correction, I think we are now on 1029 safety net coz we dont get family tax A anymore, only B. Bugger! Thats 500 less we get back! Oh well. Otherwise, costs are as I imagined, although next weeks appointment just to see the Dr is $170-. Yowsers!
Yes! Dr is irrelevant. Thats good because the Dr at Sunshine is only there Wed arvo and because of small mans school hours, afternoons are not suitable. So I would have had to see him elsewhere at other times anyway.
Also realised that to get to that clinic, its not TOO bad in terms of traffic because I only go as far down the Calder as Sydenham then turn off, and it doesn't get hectic really, until from and after the Sydenham on ramp (as far as I can recall anyway). And if I tried it once and found it was busy, I could always go the back way thereafter, which would be just an extra 10 mins or so. Not so bad after all...
I emailed Ballarat IVF today also, and asked if IVF is required, how do the payment options all work, and I am going to call MIVF accounts later and ask the same. Am hoping one or both, allow you to pay just the gap fee upfront, and bill medicare directly for their share. This would mean the difference between needing to find $3000 (which we can currently do by mid November); and $5000 which would not be possible til Jan/Feb next year.
We will try something before the years end (from Nov) - whether that is IVF or IUI is yet to be seen. Because we already have a child, our safety net for medicare is far lower, at $520 of which we already have $120 toward, and given I am still to see a GP for referrals and have these 2 specialist appointments, we are obviously going to be close to it anyway, so might as well start now. Oh correction, I think we are now on 1029 safety net coz we dont get family tax A anymore, only B. Bugger! Thats 500 less we get back! Oh well. Otherwise, costs are as I imagined, although next weeks appointment just to see the Dr is $170-. Yowsers!
Resume transmission
Just a note on the blog name: Mr MyFaceTube and I were laughing at internet fads and decided millions await us if we combine My Space, Facebook and YouTube. Hence MyFaceTube. :D It appealed to our wit!
Big decision has been made, the return to fertility treatment awaits us. A brief history rundown:
TTC #1
Briefly:
3 natural cycles (approx. 90 – 100 days in length each).
1 cycle 50mg clomid
4 cycles 100mg clomid – conception 16/11/02; Son born induction delivery 08/08/03.
TTC #2
Briefly:
2 cycles no treatment (cycles approx. 90+ days)
1 cycle 50mg clomid
2 cycles 100mg, started metformin (500mg) as well.
1 cycle 150mg (undetected ovulation)
5 cycles 200mg (first detected too late)
IUI 1 – negative.
IUI 2 - Negative.
We then took a two year break from treatment, from sheer exhaustion. Aside from the pregnancy and 5 months after, infertility had been our lives for 6 years. To have a break was heavenly, although much was spent grieving the loss of multiple children. I didn't see the return to treatment coming at all, we felt we were done, bu here we are! Have since lost 4kg and started metformin again and currently cycles are approx. 85 days ish.
I want a closer clinic this time, so am sussing 2 out. I also would like to move fairly quickly on to IVF, not faff about with more IUI treatment, so again, sussing this and payment options out (ideally pay gap amount and bill medicare directly) as this will impact when we can start.
I have an appointment Tues 18 Sep and one Fri 21 Sep, a busy week. I don't know how I feel about it all. Partly excited, hopeful and happy; partly terrified, anxious and tense. Still surprised at the decision also! My husband always said he wasn't wanting to return to AC but would support me if I did. He recently changed his mind which gave me the ability to freely admit I felt the time was right too. So here we go!
Big decision has been made, the return to fertility treatment awaits us. A brief history rundown:
TTC #1
Briefly:
3 natural cycles (approx. 90 – 100 days in length each).
1 cycle 50mg clomid
4 cycles 100mg clomid – conception 16/11/02; Son born induction delivery 08/08/03.
TTC #2
Briefly:
2 cycles no treatment (cycles approx. 90+ days)
1 cycle 50mg clomid
2 cycles 100mg, started metformin (500mg) as well.
1 cycle 150mg (undetected ovulation)
5 cycles 200mg (first detected too late)
IUI 1 – negative.
IUI 2 - Negative.
We then took a two year break from treatment, from sheer exhaustion. Aside from the pregnancy and 5 months after, infertility had been our lives for 6 years. To have a break was heavenly, although much was spent grieving the loss of multiple children. I didn't see the return to treatment coming at all, we felt we were done, bu here we are! Have since lost 4kg and started metformin again and currently cycles are approx. 85 days ish.
I want a closer clinic this time, so am sussing 2 out. I also would like to move fairly quickly on to IVF, not faff about with more IUI treatment, so again, sussing this and payment options out (ideally pay gap amount and bill medicare directly) as this will impact when we can start.
I have an appointment Tues 18 Sep and one Fri 21 Sep, a busy week. I don't know how I feel about it all. Partly excited, hopeful and happy; partly terrified, anxious and tense. Still surprised at the decision also! My husband always said he wasn't wanting to return to AC but would support me if I did. He recently changed his mind which gave me the ability to freely admit I felt the time was right too. So here we go!
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