Waiting... Again!

Paid our pile of cash to MIVF this morning. Always a strange feeling, but can now get hubby to collect the medicines this week in preparation for day 2 when it arrives. Dr Foster has me starting at 150iu this cycle. Last cycle we did 250iu and it happened hard and fast and I had a LOT of follies (most of which were empty.. but anyhoo); after the transfer, she said that she would start me slightly lower this cycle, I think she said 200iu then, but I am okay with 150 as well. It may mean longer than a week stimming, but slower will hopefully mean better quality. Of course, me being me, I will worry that perhaps 150 will be TOO low, at least until the first scan.

So, now we wait for a period. I actually feel PMTish but don't know if this one will arrive on its own, pretty rare for me. Usually get the one at the end of a cycle and one after and then loooong cycles again. I'll take some primolut if I need to (you take that drug for 5 days, then when you withdraw from it, you get a period). See how the next few days pan out. I feel sick with excitement and nerves.

What a day!!

I'm home, finally!!

Took Finn to school at 9, then came home and tidied up, then took off to the bank and to top up the petrol before heading off to acupuncture session #1. It went well, lots of needles, lots of Qi moving to the uterus (I hope!)

Then, home for lunch and to meet my sister, and fill her in on picking Finn up etc. So she set off to get him, and I set off for the city. Bloody carpark was full and so I had to walk 3 blocks with my still tender tummy which was a shit!

Mixed news on the embies (embryo's). Of the 11 crap eggs, only 2 survived. :( And they were not great. Excellent and goo embryos are grade 1 and 2, mine were 3 and 4 - so, average and slightly below average (4 cell and 2 cell).

I said "oh. Well can you put both back?" Dr Foster said she felt the lower would not survive freeze and thaw and so decided that yes, 2 could go in. So I saw my 2 little babies on the tv, and then they put them in, I got my progesterone and off we went.

J is a little more disappointed than I, at the prospect of if it is unsuccessful, we need to do all the drugs ad EPU again... I was just relieved its done! I went and had acupuncture #2, and now I am home and falling in a heap. I intend to forget about it, at least for the weekend and enjoy my 30th Birthday.

2 babies on board though, and I know people who conceived with a grade 4, let alone a 3, so I am happy. yay!

IVF Junkie

Hurrah! I commence shooting up tomorrow! Should have been today, but the scan to check progress fell on Cup day so its tomorrow, and scan Wednesday. I talked to her about the very low start dose and told her my IUI history dosage/result and she decided to instead start me at 250. I felt anything less than 200 would be a waste of our time, so was very pleased with that.

So, I collected my second pack now (have one the same from IUI days); of cooler bag, ice brick, pen needle, sharps disposal unit and precious vials and needles. I feel so relieved, honestly. And can you believe my lining was still bloody 4mm?!?! HOW? Stupid period is STILL spotting today. Dr says was definitely right to wait the week given that the period kept going like that, says it would've stuffed things a bit.

I really like my Dr. She listens to me, she's encouraging, realistic and proactive. You really can't ask for more than that when it comes to Assisted Conception, in my opinion.

So, good news. Am already nervous about Wednesdays scan. Am quite certain I will need a lot more beyond that, so its not that. But now I am thinking god if I talked her into a higher dose and I react differently and OVERstim, it will be my fault. Its unlikely... but it will be in my mind til Wednesday. What I expect to happen, is to find some growth, but early days, which will require more stimulation/needles, maybe an increased dose or more of the same. With IUI I injected for 3 weeks and 2 weeks so that is an indication.

Also, I just received an email from the people at www.essentialbaby.com.au which said I had been chosen as a winner for a competition I entered recently. I have won us a copy of this book:

Making Babies: Personal IVF Stories (can click that for more info)

So that will be handy timing, and should inspire and give us strength. Great bonus! Good day!!


ETA: Credit for the term "IVF junkie" which I just love, goes to Adrian B, I have adopted it as my new favourite term.

I chose my Doctor well

I really, really, really do like my FS. She answered my email promptly as always, and said we can discuss the dose at the scan, and that she is happy to adjust it upwards. The relief is enormous! This is very, very, good news.

My period is still AWOL, no idea what is going on there. Just have to see what happens at the scan. The problem may be that if I don't get a decent period my lining may not be thin enough to start injections. Nothing I can do about it. It is really hard - and completely against my nature - to go with the flow and relax about whats going on. I am doing better at the moment, but its taking a concerted effort.

Anyway, Thursday will be telling. Nervous as hell.


Feel very stressed and tense today. Sort of feel alone too, even though I know there are people who care and will listen. I just feel weird. :(

Verdict

That was your hint. How ironic and strange it is, to start assisted conception by taking the pill!!!

Dr. Foster was really good. She asked our history and then asked what we wanted to do, and we of course said IVF please. She said she agreed that was a sensible decision given the mucking about we had already done.

She will only transfer 1. Before going, I thought that with my age and that we knew we CAN conceive, one was best for us anyway, but now shes said it I feel like our chances of it working just halved. I am an odd one.

She asked when my last period was and I said 10 days ago and that I only get them every 80-100 days; so she decided to do a scan on the spot and my lining looked good (she taught me how to read the ultrasound which was great, didn't look like the moon anymore); and then said I could start tomorrow (ie today!).

So, after sorting the $$ - we are away this morning. I took a pill. I told Dad he could have ownership rights over any baby that might be created, especially when it needs a nappy change. :D

Now I have to call the MIVF nurses this morning and tell them I have started. I have NO idea what happens form here. I do know that J has to make an appointment to give a sperm sample but he chickened out of making it yesterday. I was NOT impressed. I have to do most of the hell, he has that one test. Why I oughta... lol.

it is all happening so quickly. Yesterday I was just so overwhelmed and felt like crying and laughing at once. The reality of returning to all the invasive treatment, the finances, the broken dreams seemed to hit a bit. At the same time, I am excited (but to be honest, not overly hopeful). J reminded me that the way to look at it is not that this cycle will work, but that one of three or so will. I like that. I can do that. So here we go!

Extra info

I made the appt to see a Dr at MIVF and then realised she was not the Sunshine (closest) clinic Dr. I rang MIVF this morning though, and asked does it have to be that clinics Dr or can I see Dr Foster at her rooms but still do all my bloods and scans at sunshine?

Yes! Dr is irrelevant. Thats good because the Dr at Sunshine is only there Wed arvo and because of small mans school hours, afternoons are not suitable. So I would have had to see him elsewhere at other times anyway.

Also realised that to get to that clinic, its not TOO bad in terms of traffic because I only go as far down the Calder as Sydenham then turn off, and it doesn't get hectic really, until from and after the Sydenham on ramp (as far as I can recall anyway). And if I tried it once and found it was busy, I could always go the back way thereafter, which would be just an extra 10 mins or so. Not so bad after all...

I emailed Ballarat IVF today also, and asked if IVF is required, how do the payment options all work, and I am going to call MIVF accounts later and ask the same. Am hoping one or both, allow you to pay just the gap fee upfront, and bill medicare directly for their share. This would mean the difference between needing to find $3000 (which we can currently do by mid November); and $5000 which would not be possible til Jan/Feb next year.

We will try something before the years end (from Nov) - whether that is IVF or IUI is yet to be seen. Because we already have a child, our safety net for medicare is far lower, at $520 of which we already have $120 toward, and given I am still to see a GP for referrals and have these 2 specialist appointments, we are obviously going to be close to it anyway, so might as well start now. Oh correction, I think we are now on 1029 safety net coz we dont get family tax A anymore, only B. Bugger! Thats 500 less we get back! Oh well. Otherwise, costs are as I imagined, although next weeks appointment just to see the Dr is $170-. Yowsers!