EPU

20 eggs... thats great, but I am now at risk of hyperstim again and might not transfer at all this cycle. Will be assessed Sun and decide at the time based on how I feel and what we get in terms of viability of any embryos.

I am sore, and flat about that. I also have this pinched nerve type feeling in my right shoulder that is hurting. Not sure what that is but its giving me more grief than the tummy at the moment. See what Sunday brings now...

Trigger

Thank you all so much for the comments and support, as you know, it goes a long way.

Trigger is at 10:50pm tonight, fast from midnight tomorrow night, and OPU is 10:20am Friday. Fingers and toes crossed :)

Goodo!!

So I emailed the Dr about the blip and also about the fact she had planned to prescribe pessaries over crinone gel because of my shite LP. She returned the email promptly saying she would amend my history to reflect ETx2 and will write the prog script at OPU. Wonderful!!!

Also, antag needles HURT. They are thicker than the FSH ones, not fine and painless, oh no! These were needing quite the shove to pierce the skin. Caused tears in the eyes, was glad J was doing it and not me. I'd have hesitated and freaked and muffed it.

Wonder how many of the follicles will grow all the way and not be empty? My goal for this EPU is 6-10 eggs. Fingers crossed. And also, quality - better quality PLEEEEEASE. Trigger tomorrow, not sure what time or where yet, will find out tomorrow when nurses call.

Third Scan

I almost fell to a puddle right there on the RE room floor. WE HAVE GROWTH!!!!!!! 13 on the right and 9 on the left all 11-16mm. Can you believe it?! I sure couldn't! So, I had blood taken to check if I had started to surge yet or not, and was called to say all is fine, so its atag tonight, puregon tomorrow and antag again tomorrow night then trigger Wednesday and EPU Friday.

Only blip was they had circled 1 to transfer when we want to transfer 2 as agreed on cancelled cycle so have emailed the Dr about that.. I also forgot to collect my trigger meds! I thought I had them, but I only had the needles. D'oh! Don't need it til Wednesday though, so will get J to grab it tomorrow. The antag only cost me $162 as well, so that was fine.

So.. awaiting further instructions on Wednesday...

Blahhh

I feel sick. My ovaries are starting to hurt, I have headaches from the synarel, and I just feel generally off. Especially because I insist on drinking heaps of water everyday which makes me feel all full and blah.

I also feel a bit emotionally worn - mostly in anticipation of the week ahead. I have to try not to think ahead that way and just focus on each day, but its hard. In and out of the city Friday (at peak traffic on the way in); and then again yesterday for a friends baby shower (that was not really a traditional shower, but high tea - brilliant!) and again Tuesday in peak traffic for scan #2 and possibly again by weeks end for either another scan or EPU and again 2 days after that for transfer... No wonder I feel overwhelmed. Its an hour trip in and an hour back each time. I was grateful to gt a ride with a friend yesterday which meant that I didn't have to think about the driving and I had company. The Park Hyatt is only a couple of blocks from the FS rooms so it was an almost identical trip!

2 of the girls, my dear friends... got me what I call a hope item. I refuse to buy any baby things, when its been this long trying, it just seems a little silly. But I did want to have one thing, to show that I do have faith that it will happen eventually, that I do think we'll get there eventually. An item of hope! So, these 2 beautiful friends got me that item. It is just gorgeous.. I had one with Finn and when he was finally here and wearing it.. it was really special. So hopefully it brings me strength and good fortune!

So today is Sunday, and I intend to have a day of rest. My husband has been really good this weekend helping out around home and ensuring I am resting as much as I can and so on. Its greatly appreciated, I need it right now. Tomorrow I will do my housework for the week and Mum will arrive in the afternoon to stay the night as she did last week, so that I can leave early for the scan and she will watch Finn. She may have to do that 3 times in a week if EPU is this week as well. I am very fortunate to have her able to do that for us - as is Finn!

So I feel a bit yucky at the moment. But I am reminding myself that the next week-10 days or so will be the worst and most intense of it, then I can fall in a heap a bit for another month or so. Maybe longer ;)

Slow and steady is good

Scan went well... 6 follis growing either side. Continue same dose of puregon and rescan Tuesday, with EPU hopefully end next week. Also mentioned my 11 day luteal phase to her, so shes switching me to higher dose progesterone pessaries so thats good too.

So far, so good...

just quickly...

11 eggs, fewer than expected but this means IF the dr feels I am ok Wednesday, transfer of an embryo back into me can go ahead after all!! Fingers crossed I pull up ok. Quite sore tonight, off to bed xx

PS Am rapt with 11!!! Remember 10 was my goal!!

The point of no return

The nurse called yesterday to tell me that egg pick up is at 10:40am Monday at the RWH, and therefore, trigger was to be at 11:10pm last night. So very precise, not 11, 11:10pm. Because it takes 36 hours to ovulate, so I get there 35 and a half before and then they can catch them as they mature and ready to ovulate.

The trigger injection is bloody awful. Now, at the start of all this, they told us it was an all in one syringe which pleased us greatly, since at the IUIs it was the vials etc. But, when I collected it all on Friday, she said I have to have the vials again because I am hyper stimulated and that form is more gentle on the ovaries.

So anyway, I had to stay up late (for me, I am old remember); at mix it up. What happens is I have to snap the tops of two, small vials (about 3-4cm tall), and hope they don't shatter. Then I have to be super careful that I don't knock them over, and you'd be surprised how easily that could happen! If either happens, we're screwed, there are no spares.

So, then I attach a large thick drawing up needle to the syringe, draw up the water form one tiny vial (without unbalancing it with the thick long needle!) and then depress the water in to the vial of powdered medicine, swirl it up til it dissolves (again, careful with the tiny vial!!!) then draw it all up again, turn the needle upside down so i doesn't all escape when I take the drawing up needle off and replace it with the injecting needle (far, far smaller!)

Then tap all the air bubbles to the surface, and slowly depress the syringe til the air is out, and a drop of medicine is at the tip, then inject. It is seriously stressful and fiddly. But, I got it done. Ended up being 5 minutes late though, so will tell them that tomorrow. Better late than early.

So, there is no going back now. Tomorrow morning we'll see how many eggs we get, and then the eternally long wait til Wednesday when the Dr. calls to tell me how many fertilised with the ICSI, and how many are developing and suitable for freezing. I feel ill at the thought. I am hoping for 10 eggs tomorrow, 10 good ones. 6 is ok. Less than 6 and i will be disappointed and worried, but as long as its quality... it will be ok. I hope.

I am really pretty scared about going under anaesthetic too. Its scary. Last time I was under a similar level of anaesthesia, was for an endoscopy about 10 years ish ago and it was traumatic. Before that, some operations as a little girl (I got over the needle phobia with all this, but still a bit scared of going under). And its going to hurt. A needle through the vaginal wall to get all my eggs out. Well fark. That doesn't sound fun.

So am sore and tired, but nearly there. Now to drink 3l of water and powerade for the next week to stop OHSS and I might even be okay for my birthday on Friday!

The 'Semi-Go ahead.'

The last 2 days have felt longer than the last 2 months. Have been so stressed and worried and certain it was over. Horrible.

Okay, so I have on the right ovary: 15 follicles measuring about 17mm. On the left: 17 follicles measuring around 17-20mm. Ouch!!! Doctor said that IF we went ahead with a retrieval, I might get hyperstim, but it would not be at dangerous levels. She said no transfer though, freeze all - too risky. She asked how did I feel about the prospect of maybe getting ohss and doing retrieval.. or I could cancel there and then.

I said I would go ahead with retrieval. Am shitting myself mind you. Terrified of getting sick, can be quite bad for some people: lots and lots of fluids, rest and protein. So I feel mixed. Enormous relief this has not all been wasted, scared of getting sick and disappointed we won't get to put a fresh embryo back (supposedly far more likely to implant than a thawed).

I think its the right decision tho. If we transferred and it took, then we'd be starting pregnancy in a stressed/worn out body, and that'd be sucky. Plus it'd be hard if I got very sick with ohss - worrying about me, and a fetus AND finn etc... too much. I do feel this is right. Make the most of it and get them out - but then let my body rest and recover before a pregnancy. feels right.

So, onto retrieval Monday, they will call with details of when and where tomorrow.