First Scan

Nothing earth shattering: right side has 10-12 follies approx 10mm each, left side has 6 approx 10mm.

Problem is, often they stop growing much beyond 10 and die off, so nothing too exciting there yet. Dr said normally she might worry about so many on the right and drop dose but because its me.. keep dose the same.

Because this is an antagonist cycle, when follies start to reach about 14mm, they start the antag medications (the exxy ones!) so she cant leave it the long weekend to rescan, so I am back there Friday for another scan to see how they are going. I will probably still stim past then, though. I will possibly start those injections (in place of synarel, can help quality), on Sunday or Monday, may need a blood test Sunday to check that (and I may need to drive miles to do that on a Sunday, work that out when we see whats going on Friday).

Problem is if I start them too late I could ovulate and be cancelled AGAIN so we do have to err on caution, hence early 2nd scan and bloods and stuffing around. So we wait and see what happens and how many grow between now and Friday. She seemed happy with the progress, but I think thought they might be bigger by now. Going on past scans, I tend to lose about 10 follies between now and next, so hopefully I will still have 7 or so for EPU. Its going to be a long 2 days... Second scan is booked for Friday 945am, nice that its slightly later, will mean less traffic going in, but still need Mum back since Finn has Fridays off. So lucky to have her!

Glad I don't have too long to wait, its a nervous time this part. Hard not to overthink. I feel sick with worry, to be honest.

Cycle 3 away!

So just on the fees, I had told my folks about it, had a whinge, but said we'd work it out okay. I got a call the next morning from my beautiful 80 year old grandmother, she had been talking to my Dad and was calling to tell me a cheque was in the mail to help us out. I promptly burst into tears of gratitude. What a generous, kind thing to do.

Meanwhile, also yesterday morning, I began spotting. 9 day LP, go me!!! Pathetic. So, today we're full force, and I am waiting for the nurses to call me back and confirm all systems are go. I get nervous waiting for this call, because whilst it seems in theory, to be a routine thing, in practice they did forget to schedule my down reg! So, until it is confirmed things are underway, I get touchy and nervous. Ring, damn you, RING!



30 minutes later...

100mg clomid for 5 days starting Thursday.
200iu puregon for 5 days starting Friday.
First scan next Wednesday morning, 9am.

I feel sick with nerves after the cancelled cycle. Here we go again...

Nothing ever is easy

Not a great scan. Left side have gone backwards in growth, and right I had 2 x 14mm, 1 x 13mm and some smallish nothingy ones. Upped dose from 150 to 200iu for 3 more days, rescan Friday. Need more to happen or EPU won't go ahead. Can;t think about it til Friday, too many what ifs. Feeling pretty flat and dejected. FS said I have "hardcore PCOS" in that my ovaries are totally unpredictable in whether they will over under or respond the same each time. Woot for me. I hate my ovaries. I feel so guilty, angry and depressed. Oh well. Worry about it Friday I suppose.

An interesting comparison

I was thinking about IVF as compared to IUI and my response to the drugs.

I went back to my journals and looked it up. For my first IUI I did 8 days of 75iu, then another 7 days of 150iu and got 2 follies.

Second IUI I did 3 days of 200iu and another 9 of 150iu and got 4 follicles.


So both of those cycles I was on the same dose as I am now on for this IVF cycle (150iu ) of the puregon, and had poorer response after being on it far longer. This cycle after just 5 days of the 150, I have 12+ in development. That is a massive difference. And clearly why last cycle I had 40 on 250/200iu! Yet you can see why I wanted to start that high, given the responses I had on IUI to the exact same drug.

Given I weigh the same now as I did then, the only difference I can put it down to is that with the IVF I have walked 20 minutes every single day that I am stimming. I was even on metformin then to help it all along and am not now.

Surely this is a good thing, that I am helping my body along, not relying on the increased drugs? It is such an enormously different response, it truly intrigues me.

Slow and steady is good

Scan went well... 6 follis growing either side. Continue same dose of puregon and rescan Tuesday, with EPU hopefully end next week. Also mentioned my 11 day luteal phase to her, so shes switching me to higher dose progesterone pessaries so thats good too.

So far, so good...

Hormonal Hell

Ok... am guessing that between the primolut, having a period, starting synarel and injecting today - all in the space of a week or so - has sent my hormones mental. I am so snappy, irritable and horrible feeling today. Its shitty. I just feel that tense, PMTish type feeling.

Speaking of a period, mine seems to be just about gone already! What the?? It only started spotting Thursday and flow Friday. Thats 3 and a half days. Last one was almost 3 weeks! Argh!

Switching from general fertility to the IVF specific phase 1 meditation tonight: Shots to retrieval. Drank my 1.5l water, and went for my walk. Planned next fortnights meals all healthy. Taking my folic acid and multi-vit.. christ knows what else I SHOULD be doing. Bah!

Cranky, cranky, cranky.

Day 1 ahoy!

We're off! Today is day 1 of my cycle and I have called the clinic and ensured all is set to go, and it is. I start sniffing synarel tomorrow, one in the morning, one at night. Then I begin 150iu injections on Sunday and have a scan Friday morning. Booked the scan in, and now we are away.

My only niggling concern is I thought I started injections tomorrow, but definitely Sunday, so thats only 5 days worth by scan and the script was for 6 days. She was pretty clear though, so I do as I am told!

So finally, we're off. Here we go...

Yawn.

Still waiting... I did however, start primolut. So had I been about to get AF naturally, this will delay it.. but if I had NOT been about to, this will speed it up - a risk I was willing to take, basically. So today is day 4 of it, tomorrow I take the last 2, and then it will take anywhere from 3-11 days for a period to show. From memory, last time I was on this stuff, it took 4 or 5 days.

My puregon is in the fridge, ready to go, and my synarel is here waiting also. Just hinging on the period now so I can call the nurses and be away with it. Bit over the waiting, its all about waiting in assisted conception, it sucks.

This is not very much fun

So I made it, just did my #5 injection and that is it now til the scan tomorrow to see what is developing. I am feeling it I have to say. This is the most I have ever had and it could get worse yet.

I feel really irritable and short tempered, teary and tired. My ovaries are a little tender, not sore, just... I am aware of them! I am confident something is going on, I just don't know how much or to what extent. I was reading back over my IUI journals to see my response to injections then, and I felt a little more sore than I am now when I had 5 or so follicles maturing. So, I still expect to have some days ahead of injecting yet.

Find out tomorrow morning I guess. Am shit scared, to be honest. This is a scary part, the balance of dose is tricky. I don't want over and to be cancelled and in pain etc. with OHSS*; nor do I want to go under and be injecting forever and still risk cancellation with too few follicles. I am utterly terrified. Trying not to think too much about it at the moment. Need to distract myself today so it passes quickly.



*OHSS is Ovarian Hyper Stimulation Syndrome, and can be really scary and serious requiring hospitalisation and close monitoring. You cna try and keep it at bay by drinking lots of water/gatorade which I am doing, but if its bad enough, it will happen anyway. More info can be found by clicking here.

IVF Junkie

Hurrah! I commence shooting up tomorrow! Should have been today, but the scan to check progress fell on Cup day so its tomorrow, and scan Wednesday. I talked to her about the very low start dose and told her my IUI history dosage/result and she decided to instead start me at 250. I felt anything less than 200 would be a waste of our time, so was very pleased with that.

So, I collected my second pack now (have one the same from IUI days); of cooler bag, ice brick, pen needle, sharps disposal unit and precious vials and needles. I feel so relieved, honestly. And can you believe my lining was still bloody 4mm?!?! HOW? Stupid period is STILL spotting today. Dr says was definitely right to wait the week given that the period kept going like that, says it would've stuffed things a bit.

I really like my Dr. She listens to me, she's encouraging, realistic and proactive. You really can't ask for more than that when it comes to Assisted Conception, in my opinion.

So, good news. Am already nervous about Wednesdays scan. Am quite certain I will need a lot more beyond that, so its not that. But now I am thinking god if I talked her into a higher dose and I react differently and OVERstim, it will be my fault. Its unlikely... but it will be in my mind til Wednesday. What I expect to happen, is to find some growth, but early days, which will require more stimulation/needles, maybe an increased dose or more of the same. With IUI I injected for 3 weeks and 2 weeks so that is an indication.

Also, I just received an email from the people at www.essentialbaby.com.au which said I had been chosen as a winner for a competition I entered recently. I have won us a copy of this book:

Making Babies: Personal IVF Stories (can click that for more info)

So that will be handy timing, and should inspire and give us strength. Great bonus! Good day!!


ETA: Credit for the term "IVF junkie" which I just love, goes to Adrian B, I have adopted it as my new favourite term.