Wednesday, November 7, 2007

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

I have 20 fricken follis on EACH side. 40 follis. This is NOT good news. :( Dr says 50/50 chance of cancellation. I drop back to 200iu today and tomorrow and rescan Friday morning. If I have more than 30 still, I am cancelled.
If I have 25-30 I will have retrieval but not transfer. etc..

Sigh. No wonder my ovaries fuckin hurt. J is being positive and saying well we know we can get the numbers next time etc etc...

I am trying not to think about it. Worrying wont change it. Just see what happens Friday, but its not looking good at all. Please send me some "halve what you have" vibes.


Clare said...

Oh, Kell.
I'm really sending you the "half what I've got" vibes for you, hun. I can really get a sense from your blog even more than your posts on BB how freaked this is making you. Wish there was something more I could say or do to help. I really hope you're ok. Just remember to keep breathing, keep trying to relax and keep venting your frustrations and fears. You're doing everything else from a physical perspective that you can do to take care of yourself and that's great. I imagine it feels so difficult because you can't do anymore than you're doing. GRRRRR - very difficult. I'm thinking of you lots and lots and I'll pray for you and DH for the next couple of days that it works out ok.
Huge hugs,
Miss C

FiestyKel said...

Thanks Clare, certainly I swear more here!! I am really trying to be philosophical about it, but of course will be really disappointed if its no good. Nothing I can do to change it, so trying not to worry til tomorrow. Today is going to be loooong. Thanks lovely :)

dusty said...

great advice miss_c!

kell, hang in there hun, sending you loads of positive vibes.

wish there were a few smiley icons i could use here to brighten up your day

xx dusty

FiestyKel said...

Thanks Dusty. Its hard to imagine the last 2 months could all be for nothing! Am hoping that if I am cancelled I can least resume with a flare rather than the drawn out down reg, but will have to wait and talk to the Dr. I won't be able to look at the screen tomorrow for fear of seeing it all come true.

Bec said...

Hon, I really hope your scan goes well tomorrow, I will keep everything crossed for you.