Cycle 3 away!

So just on the fees, I had told my folks about it, had a whinge, but said we'd work it out okay. I got a call the next morning from my beautiful 80 year old grandmother, she had been talking to my Dad and was calling to tell me a cheque was in the mail to help us out. I promptly burst into tears of gratitude. What a generous, kind thing to do.

Meanwhile, also yesterday morning, I began spotting. 9 day LP, go me!!! Pathetic. So, today we're full force, and I am waiting for the nurses to call me back and confirm all systems are go. I get nervous waiting for this call, because whilst it seems in theory, to be a routine thing, in practice they did forget to schedule my down reg! So, until it is confirmed things are underway, I get touchy and nervous. Ring, damn you, RING!



30 minutes later...

100mg clomid for 5 days starting Thursday.
200iu puregon for 5 days starting Friday.
First scan next Wednesday morning, 9am.

I feel sick with nerves after the cancelled cycle. Here we go again...

Hormonal Hell

Ok... am guessing that between the primolut, having a period, starting synarel and injecting today - all in the space of a week or so - has sent my hormones mental. I am so snappy, irritable and horrible feeling today. Its shitty. I just feel that tense, PMTish type feeling.

Speaking of a period, mine seems to be just about gone already! What the?? It only started spotting Thursday and flow Friday. Thats 3 and a half days. Last one was almost 3 weeks! Argh!

Switching from general fertility to the IVF specific phase 1 meditation tonight: Shots to retrieval. Drank my 1.5l water, and went for my walk. Planned next fortnights meals all healthy. Taking my folic acid and multi-vit.. christ knows what else I SHOULD be doing. Bah!

Cranky, cranky, cranky.

Day 1 ahoy!

We're off! Today is day 1 of my cycle and I have called the clinic and ensured all is set to go, and it is. I start sniffing synarel tomorrow, one in the morning, one at night. Then I begin 150iu injections on Sunday and have a scan Friday morning. Booked the scan in, and now we are away.

My only niggling concern is I thought I started injections tomorrow, but definitely Sunday, so thats only 5 days worth by scan and the script was for 6 days. She was pretty clear though, so I do as I am told!

So finally, we're off. Here we go...

Yawn.

Still waiting... I did however, start primolut. So had I been about to get AF naturally, this will delay it.. but if I had NOT been about to, this will speed it up - a risk I was willing to take, basically. So today is day 4 of it, tomorrow I take the last 2, and then it will take anywhere from 3-11 days for a period to show. From memory, last time I was on this stuff, it took 4 or 5 days.

My puregon is in the fridge, ready to go, and my synarel is here waiting also. Just hinging on the period now so I can call the nurses and be away with it. Bit over the waiting, its all about waiting in assisted conception, it sucks.

Waiting... Again!

Paid our pile of cash to MIVF this morning. Always a strange feeling, but can now get hubby to collect the medicines this week in preparation for day 2 when it arrives. Dr Foster has me starting at 150iu this cycle. Last cycle we did 250iu and it happened hard and fast and I had a LOT of follies (most of which were empty.. but anyhoo); after the transfer, she said that she would start me slightly lower this cycle, I think she said 200iu then, but I am okay with 150 as well. It may mean longer than a week stimming, but slower will hopefully mean better quality. Of course, me being me, I will worry that perhaps 150 will be TOO low, at least until the first scan.

So, now we wait for a period. I actually feel PMTish but don't know if this one will arrive on its own, pretty rare for me. Usually get the one at the end of a cycle and one after and then loooong cycles again. I'll take some primolut if I need to (you take that drug for 5 days, then when you withdraw from it, you get a period). See how the next few days pan out. I feel sick with excitement and nerves.

Brief update

With overspending at Xmas and so on, it looks like we won't be able to save the next lot til March. We'll see.

I got a period 23rd November, and again Dec 25 (yep, Merry xmas!) though this one is a light and drawn out one as opposed to heavy and fast. I will ring MIVF tomorrow and fill them in and confirm that from now on we will be doing flare not down reg cycles, and also let them know we will be wanting to book in for a cycle in Feb/March.

I had a meltdown/cry/howl when my period arrived from last cycle, and then a few days later was fine and have been since. I am more annoyed at having to spend the money on it at the moment, and miss out on other things I would like to spend it on. But, this is our decision and god if it works it will be so worth it, I am just finding it hard to have faith. Especially with last cycles crap eggs and no frozens, I am nervous. I want to get started again so I can stop overthinking it all.

I certainly was able to switch off from it all over xmas/new year which has been surprising (for me!) and great. Its only now with this period that I am like ok, lets get this going again ASAP.

Hoping to scrape up the cash to start next period (first week Feb); but otherwise March. We have to pay Finns expensive school fees first, then save like mad.

Come off it!

STILL bleeding. 11 days and counting. Not amused.

No deal.

It was every bit as mortifying as I thought. Actually, it was much worse. Horrible.

Lining too thick still. Double sniffing dugs and come back in a week. If no go, more pills to get ANOTHER period and come back in another 2 weeks.

So 1-3 weeks delay. Pissed off. Could have been with my boy on a fun day out but no, I had to do this. The Dr, the nurse and the pharmacist were all very nice, couldn't fault the service at all. Lots of waiting (over an hour all up); but oh well. Its hard to do this. Hard to drive all the way in, wait... no outcome.. do it all again next week. Its hard.

Shitful. Oh well. Not much I can do or say really is there?!

Ow ow ow ow ow!

I so shouldn't have raved on about my period. Its gotten gradually worse the last 24 hours and is now very painful and rather heavy. Doubt it will be light, let alone gone, by Thursday. How degrading. Oh well. Am sure I am not the first. Hopefully I will be ready for FSH. PLEEEEEAAASSEEEE.

I chose my Doctor well

I really, really, really do like my FS. She answered my email promptly as always, and said we can discuss the dose at the scan, and that she is happy to adjust it upwards. The relief is enormous! This is very, very, good news.

My period is still AWOL, no idea what is going on there. Just have to see what happens at the scan. The problem may be that if I don't get a decent period my lining may not be thin enough to start injections. Nothing I can do about it. It is really hard - and completely against my nature - to go with the flow and relax about whats going on. I am doing better at the moment, but its taking a concerted effort.

Anyway, Thursday will be telling. Nervous as hell.


Feel very stressed and tense today. Sort of feel alone too, even though I know there are people who care and will listen. I just feel weird. :(

The worry

Freaking out again. Waiting for this period that won't start. Spotting and thats it. Come on!!! Sigh. Am worried that I will still be bleeding at the scan Thursday. Way to be even less dignified and more embarrassed :(

And then I was stupidly reading stuff on the net about starting doses of puregon and bad results from low stim doses and I know my Dr plans to start me very low in case the PCOS sends me into hyperstim (medically v dangerous). But I responded slow in the IUIs and now am freaking out. Sigh. Its so scary. The chance of this actually working is so bloody low. I'm depressed. :(