Wednesday, March 19, 2008

I feel sick (ch ment)

Nauseous as hell, but I think its from the huge progesterone dose I am on, more than it is OHSS. Slight tenderness still, but not too bad now. I am tired, sick and depressed. Its a genuine realisation that this is going to be so much harder than I anticipated. I thought that IVF would address our male factor, and get me ovulating and so work eventually. Now I discover the shiteness of my eggs and its been a real hit. The fact that I am going to have to risk OHSS to get something of quality every ER is a bit scary as well. Its just... depressing. And I know I can hope I never need another, that this will work, and logically, there is a reasonable chance of it working but I feel so negative about it.

Maybe its that because it has been 4 years without a vague notion of working, its hard to believe one little embie will work. I am convinced we will need two to hope ONE sticks... but that looks like it will never happen. Like its either quality and one back because of OHSS risk; or lesser quality and 2 back. Its discouraging. I don't want to do this too many more times. Its painful and horrible.

Again, I feel grateful as hell for the miracle my son is. I never have to face the prospect of childlessness, so can never understand that feeling. I am grateful every moment of every day for that. By the years end, we can move on. We'll be done either way and I look forward to banishing infertility and AC from my life forever.

Thank you for all the supportive comments, it helps a lot.


Anonymous said...

Hey, I heard that OHSS increases your chance of pregnancy. Don't know if it's true or not...but I had it, and I got twins. It's hard to stay positive, but hang in there!

FiestyKel said...

I'll take all such encouragement and positivity at the moment! I have read the same. I have to say, I have it mildly, I feel for those who get it badly, its nasty!

La La said...

Hmmm, I've not heard anything about OHSS and having to abort...I'm not sure if perhaps that is something unique to your situation? But I have OHSS *bad* right now and we put 3 back! The RE never said anything to me about having to reduce if I didn't want to, he just warned me that I would get really, really sick. ((hugs))

FiestyKel said...

Charming fear tactics my Dr uses. That would be THE most extreme case scenario where if you were about to DIE that would be the other option. About the same chance of being hit by a bus crossing the street. In Australia, we are lucky to have a well funded program, so they will only ever put one, 2 at most back for most patients.